Broken Heart
by Sailorpipn
Summary: Heero leaves, Can Relena survive the heart break or will her pain consume her? lots of flashbacks hints of sex and just so everyone know this story is dedicated to my friend 'minako' she helped me with it!
1.

A Broken Heart  
  
'Relena,  
  
I am leaving. You have made me change and I am no longer the person I once was. Where I am going I cannot tell you, and by the time you read this letter, I have probably already left.'  
  
She places the letter on the dresser, unable to continue reading. As thunder sounds in the distance a single tear rolls down her cheek. She feels that she must continue reading, to find out his reasons for leaving. She extends her hand towards the dresser but can't pick it up and pulls her hand back to her side. A bright light fills the dim room for just a second as she whispers his name, "Heero…"  
  
'I have become a stone.' She thinks to herself. 'I cannot move. I cannot feel the pain that has filled my heart.' She has been sitting in the same chair for almost an hour listening to the sound of the rain against the roof. "What will I do without him?" she asks the darkness.  
  
"Relena? Are you ok, Relena?" Noin asks as she knocks on the door. After receiving no answer, she decides to enter the room. Even though it is late in the morning, the room is still dark. It is as if the light dares not to enter.  
  
"Relena?" Noin calls again as she searches the room for the young girl. After a moment her eyes fall upon a figure in a chair. "Oh, there you are Relena. I was worried that something had happened to you. When you didn't show up at breakfast…" She walks over to the chair to study the figure more closely.  
  
"Oh my god Relena. What has happened!" She looks at the young girl who seems to have aged overnight. Her bloodshot eyes and tear stained face make her appear much older then she really is.  
  
"Noin?" a faint whisper is heard from the figure. "Noin, my chest hurts." Noin takes a step back from the girl. She is unable to understand what could have caused such a sudden change in the girl. Her usual carefree and loving manner is gone and in its place is nothing.  
  
"Relena, stay right there. Don't move. I'll be right back." Noin rushes out of the room in search of her husband. She must tell him that something has happened to his sister.  
  
Moments later, both Noin and Milliardo, run into the room. Milliardo immediately goes to Relena's side. He looks questioningly at his little sister.  
  
"Relena, what…?" but she interrupts him.  
  
"My heart has been broken." She then starts sobbing uncontrollably as he wraps his arms around her. He holds her close to him and wonders what has happened. He wants to comfort her but doesn't know what to say.  
  
4 Days Later  
  
"Relena… You have a visitor, Relena." Milliardo opens the door to her room. He motions to someone behind him.  
  
Milliardo enters the room with Hilde and Catherine close behind. "Hey Relena. How've you been?" Hilde asks as she goes to see her friend. If Hilde is surprised by the way Relena looks, she doesn't let on. Though she does steal a quick glance with Catherine. They are both shocked by her appearance. She looks smaller then the last time they were there and it is obvious that she hasn't been eating well.  
  
After the two women get settled, Milliardo leaves them to talk. He hopes that they will be able to get something out of her. She hasn't talked to anyone about what had happened, and he is really beginning to worry.  
  
Flashback  
  
"She has to talk to someone!" Milliardo argued to his wife.  
  
"And she will. She will talk and tell us everything. But not until she's ready." Noin tried to talk some sense to him but he wouldn't listen.  
  
"I'm really worried Noin. She hasn't eaten in three days. We have to do something!"  
  
Noin sighed. He was right in one way. They had to get her to eat. They weren't about to let her waste away. But she knew about a broken heart. She knew that it took a long time to heal.  
  
"Don't worry Zechs. Just give her some time. It heals all wounds after all."  
  
He nodded. He was smart enough to know that that was the end of the conversation. He then went over to Noin and wrapped his arms around her. "Answer me this. Did I ever cause you so much pain?" She then laughed and kissed him.  
  
End Flashback  
  
Milliardo leans against the door for a moment. "Please help her… She needs her friends right now." Then he heads off down the hall.  
  
"So, you didn't answer my question Relena."  
  
"What question was that?" a small voice asks.  
  
"Well I asked you how you were doing. Tell us, what has been going on with you?"  
  
She looks at the floor for a moment. She wants to tell them everything. She wants to tell then about how much she is hurting. How she feels that she had died inside. But she doesn't know how too. And just thinking about Heero makes her cry.  
  
"He broke my heart." She whispers. "I loved him and he broke my heart."  
  
Flashback  
  
The crash of the waves and the sound of the seagulls were like a song to her ears. She was so happy to be able to relax. She didn't get a day off often and she wanted to make the most of it. That was why she had insisted on going to the beach.  
  
"Come on Relena. Join us in the water. Come and have some fun." Hilde was trying to get her to go in. She may have wanted to go to the beach but that hadn't meant that she had actually wanted to go into the water.  
  
"No… I think I'll stay here. I could use a tan." She laughed. "Go, go! Go have fun with everyone else. I'm fine here."  
  
"Suit yourself. But you are going in by the end of the day." Then Hilde went back into the water.  
  
"That time may be sooner then either of you think." A shadow loomed over Relena and she looked over her shoulder to a smiling Heero.  
  
"Huh? What did you say?"  
  
"Just that you're going in now." He went to her and threw her over his shoulder. He then proceeded to go toward the water.  
  
"Heero Yuy, you put me down this instance!" she yelled and pounded her fists against his back. "Let me go!"  
  
"I will let you go… soon." He laughed. He then threw her into the water. The coldness of the water came as a shock to her and she quickly jumped up and tried to stand. But to no one's surprise she lost her footing and fell forward. But like always, Heero caught her. He wouldn't let her get hurt for anything. She looked up at him and stared into his blue eyes. He leaned his head in slightly and their lips met. And she knew what it meant to be happy.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"Why did he hurt me?" Relena starts to cry.  
  
Hilde and Catherine look at each other for a moment, both unsure of what to say. After a long pause Catherine asks, "What did he say to you? Before he left, I mean."  
  
"He left me a letter. And it said… it said that… he was leaving." She begins to cry.  
  
"Oh Relena, it's ok." Catherine goes and gives her friend a hug. "Everything will be ok."  
  
After a few seconds Hilde gets up the nerve to ask, "Did the letter say that he was never coming back?" Both she and Catherine understood that this was painful for Relena to talk about. She had never been all that open with her feelings.  
  
Relena shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know if there was more to the letter. I couldn't finish reading it. It was too painful." She pauses for a moment before saying, "He promised that he would never hurt me… I thought that he loved me."  
  
Flashback  
  
She woke up and could still feel the warmth of where he lay. She turned and looked to the open veranda and knew that he was gone. 'He always leaves. Why can't he stay with me?' she asked herself. She then rolled over in the bed and breathed in his scent. 'It's weird… he smells of the wind.' She then got out of her bed and walked to the open window.  
  
"I sometimes hate you Heero. You always get to leave." She looked at the sky and watched the sun rise. The brilliant colors brought her to peace. 'The sky looks so clear this morning. Not a cloud in it…'  
  
Then she yelled out to anyone who may have heard her, "Next time, say good bye before you leave." Then she went back to her bed and fell back asleep.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"You can't do what we did and not be in love." She says more to herself then her friends.  
  
"Well maybe that's it. Maybe, he doesn't love you anymore."  
  
Relena gasps in shock while Catherine shouts, "Hilde! How could you say that to her?"  
  
"No she's right. That must be it. That's why he wrote the letter. He knew that I would get to emotional… he doesn't love me anymore." Relena clenches her fists in pain as the realization hits her. "It's all clear now…"  
  
"Oh Relena. I didn't mean…" but Hilde can't continue.  
  
Later that Evening  
  
"Relena you have to eat! I mean look at you. You haven't eaten at all in the past three days. I understand that you're hurting but you have to eat." Noin pleads. "Please, even if it's only one bite, just eat something."  
  
"I'm sorry Noin. I'm just not hungry."  
  
Noin sighs. "Well then I'll leave this here. That way if you do get hungry, you'll have something to eat." She places the food on the dresser and walks to the door. "I'll come back later to say good night. Until then…" She leaves the room.  
  
'Why can't they understand? I've died inside and they just don't get it.'  
  
"Nobody understands!" Relena screams as she goes to the dresser and knocks the plates of food to the floor. There is a loud crash as the plates shatter. She then sinks to the ground in tears and pounds her fists against the floor. "No one understands," she whispers.  
  
After a moment she gets up and goes to her veranda. She throws the doors open and walks out onto the balcony. Then she climbs onto the railing. She stands looking over the world in front of her.  
  
"All I have to do is take one step. Just one step."  
  
The door to the room opens and in walks Milliardo. "I heard a crash Relena, are you alright?" His eyes stop on the girl about to jump. "What are you doing Relena! Don't jump!" He runs to the balcony and quickly grabs the young girl.  
  
"No, please let me go. I want to die. I want to die!" she screams as he pulls her away from the ledge.  
  
They both fall to the ground as Relena struggles to get free but Milliardo holds her tightly. "You can say that you want to die all you want but I won't let you go!"  
  
"You are my only little sister and I would do anything for you. I would do anything to see that you didn't feel any pain. But I am only human and can't keep you from getting hurt." He pauses and then says, "Please Relena, don't do this. Don't end your life, you still have so much to do in this world."  
  
Relena stops struggling and looks up at her brother. She then nods and gives him a hug. "I love you Relena." He whispers in her ear.  
  
"I love you to." Milliardo then picks her up and carries her to her bed.  
  
He gives her a quick kiss on her forehead and says, "Promise me that you won't do anything like that again?" Relena nods solemnly.  
  
"Good. Try and get some sleep. Ok?" She nods again. "Ok. Sleep well and I'll see you in the morning." Then he leaves the room.  
  
1 Week Later  
  
Noin and Milliardo are on their way to Relena's room. "I don't think she's getting any better. She eating everything we makes for her and she seems happier but she doesn't look any healthier." Milliardo nods and pales slightly. He still hasn't told his wife that she had tried to kill herself.  
  
"Maybe she's still drained from what happened?" he asks.  
  
"You might be right. It may be a long time until she's her old self again…" Noin agrees.  
  
"You know what I think?" Milliardo asks.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think we should throw her a surprise party. After all her birthday is in a couple weeks."  
  
"That sounds like a great idea. The perfect chance to get her mind off Heero." Milliardo cringes at the sound of that name. "We can invite all her friends and have lots of fun. It'll be great!" Noin starts making a mental list of what to get.  
  
Then Noin turns to Milliardo and asks, "But Zechs, when are we going to have the party?"  
  
He stops for a moment and thinks. "Two weeks from today, too soon?"  
  
"No. Two weeks from today sounds good. This is going to be the best birthday Relena's ever had." They then continue to Relena's room.  
  
Meanwhile in Relena's Room  
  
'Damn, can't they see that I no longer desire food, that now I have nothing to live for. I can't believe that they really think I'm getting over Heero. How am I supposed to get over the person I know I'm meant to be with? The only person I've ever loved. The only person I ever will love.' She looks desperately around her room, then stops and stares at the food on her desk.  
  
"Yet they still continue to give me food!" She picks up the tray of food and goes into her bathroom. She then flushes some of her food down the toilet. As she watches it go down she smiles and laughs slightly to herself.  
  
'See the trick is to leave some on the plate so it's more believable. So they think that I ate it." She thinks to herself as she walks back into her room. She puts the plate back on her dresser when she hears a tapping sound at her window. She runs to the veranda and throws the doors open but discovers that no one is there. She is puzzled and says to her self, "I think I'm going insane." She doesn't hear the door to her room open.  
  
"Why do you think that you're going insane?" Milliardo asks.  
  
Her eyes went wide in shock as she thinks of something to say, to cover her stupid mistake. She turns quickly and says, "I just thought I heard something, that's all."  
  
Milliardo looks at her, more at ease and says, "Ok. As long as you're alright."  
  
Relena nods. "Yes I'm fine." She smiles sweetly at her brother. Milliardo's face lights up when he see's his sister smile. He thinks to himself, 'It's been so long since I've seen her smile. It makes me happy to see that she's doing better.'  
  
"It's good to see you smile Relena." He then goes over to her and embraces her. "It really is…"  
  
Almost 2 Weeks Later Somewhere on L1  
  
Duo runs frantically through the streets of the colony. He is a mess. His braid is undone and his eyes are bloodshot. His clothes are in disarray.  
  
With picture in hand he runs up to the first person he sees. He forcefully grabs the person's shoulders and thrusts the picture into his face.  
  
"Have you seen this person?"  
  
He stops for a second and looks at the person he has just harassed.  
  
"Oh! It's you!"  
  
"What do you want?" Heero asks in his monotone voice.  
  
"Just this…" Duo then punches Heero in the jaw. Heero stumbles backwards, not sure of what just happened.  
  
"What the hell was that for!" he exclaims angrily.  
  
"That's for Relena."  
  
"What's going on with Relena?"  
  
"Oh nothing. She's just starving herself in the hope of dying. But that's nothing new."  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Flashback  
  
There is a knock on Relena's door. She turns to see who it is. Duo runs into the room and shouts, "It's me!" He then proceeds to go over to Relena and give her a big hug.  
  
After a moment he pushes her away and says, "Let me look at you. It's been a while since my last trip to the Sank Kingdom." While he says this he thinks to him self, 'Damn, she's all skin and bones.'  
  
Relena looks at Duo and nods, having no desire to speak.  
  
Duo gets frustrated and says, "What's wrong. Is this any way to treat a guest? I don't get a hello Duo or anything."  
  
"I'm sorry." She says meekly. "I just haven't been myself."  
  
He nods and says, "I can see that." She looks away unable to look at him.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"It's all your fault!" Duo shouts as Heero drags him into an ally.  
  
"My fault. I don't even know what I did."  
  
"You know what you did, you jerk. That damn letter you wrote broke Relena's heart."  
  
A look of shock crosses Heero's face.  
  
Flashback  
  
'My Dearest Relena…'  
  
"No, that doesn't work." Heero crumples up the piece of paper and throws it over his shoulder to an already filled garbage can. He sits there for a moment, tapping his pen against his forehead.  
  
"Think… What can I write?"  
  
'Relena My Love…'  
  
"No way. Can't write that." He crumples the paper tightly in his fists. He then laughs to himself and says, "I never was all that good at writing."  
  
Flashback Breaks to Relena's Room  
  
"Where should I put it?" Heero asks himself as he wanders through Relena's room.  
  
He notices her sock drawer open and walks over to it. Suddenly something in the drawer catches his eye. 'Why is my name in her sock drawer?' He leans over to see what it is.  
  
"Oh my god! What the hell is that?" His stomach turns as he quickly closes the drawer. "I don't think she wants that to be found… Oh I know where I'll put this." He looks at the letter in his hand. "I'll put in right here, on top of the dresser… that way I'll be sure that she gets it." He laughs slightly before he leaves the room.  
  
End Flashback  
  
"What do you mean, I broke her heart?"  
  
"What does it sound like? That letter broke her heart and now she's trying to kill herself."  
  
Then more to himself then to Duo Heero says, "But why… It said that I was coming back…"  
  
"It did?" Duo exclaims. "Oh no! She must not have read the whole thing. So she thinks you're never coming back. That's why she's starving herself. Well you've got to do something. We have to go now. We have to save her from herself." Duo runs out of the ally with Heero right behind.  
  
In the Sank Kingdom at Relena's Party  
  
'I can't believe he did this. I didn't want a party. I didn't want anything! All I want is to go back to my room.' Relena thinks to herself as she sits on a chair in the grand ballroom.  
  
"Relena please, have some fun. It's not every day you turn 18. Please…" Hilde stares at her friend for a moment hoping for a response. After getting none she gives up and walks away.  
  
"I'm sorry…" Relena whispers as she watches her friend leave.  
  
She sits watching the people dance, the colors of outfits swirling around her. 'At least someone's happy…'  
  
She tries to smile at her little joke but can't.  
  
After just sitting and watching her friends having fun, Relena feels a tapping on her shoulder. She turns her head to see Quatre standing next to her.  
  
"Would you care to dance?" He smiles at her. "I won't take no for an answer."  
  
"Well if you put it that way…" Relena gets up and Quatre takes her hand. He then leads her to the dance floor and they start to dance.  
  
"So… how have you been Relena? I heard about what happened. With you and Heero, I mean."  
  
A frown crosses her face as she turns her head away from her dance partner.  
  
"I've been better. It was like my whole world came crashing down around me."  
  
"Oh." He nods slowly trying to understand the pain she is going through.  
  
As the song comes to an end Quatre kisses Relena on the check. He then says, "I hope you don't think all guys are bad now. Because some of us would never hurt you."  
  
Relena looks up at him questioningly.  
  
"I would never hurt you Relena. I-"  
  
"No don't say it!" Relena exclaims. "Please don't continue!" She then pushes herself out of his arms and runs out of the room.  
  
"Relena…" He calls after her but she doesn't stop or turn around.  
  
'Why now?' she screams to herself as she runs through the streets of the city. 'Out of all the time I've known him, why did he have to say that now?'  
  
As she is running she trips on a rock and falls to the ground. She slams her clenched fists down onto the cold hard pavement.  
  
"Why!" She screams as she raises her fists and slams them down again. "Why?" With tears streaming down her face she raises her hands to look at them. She watches in horror as she sees the blood dripping down her arms.  
  
"I can't go on any longer. I can't… pretend that I'm not in pain. I have to stop this game! It ends now!" She yells as she picks herself up and runs towards the cliffs on the beach.  
  
"Where is Relena!" The party guests hear this long before they see who asked the question. "Where is she?" Heero runs into the ballroom with a look of exasperation on his face. He runs to Hilde and Catherine and says, "I have to speak to her."  
  
"You shouldn't be here. Haven't you caused her enough pain?" Hilde says coldly, her voice rising slightly in anger.  
  
"You don't understand, I-" He is cut off when Hilde slaps him across the face.  
  
"Just get out of here Heero. She just left anyway." Then she and Catherine walk away. Heero just stands there for a moment unsure of what to do.  
  
For once in her life the crashing of the waves brings her no comfort. There is to much pain for there to be anything else.  
  
'I've been here before… why?' she thinks to herself as she tries to remember the last time she'd been to this part of the beach.  
  
She lets out a small sigh as she remembers. "This is where I first met him… the first time I saw his face was right here." She smiles slightly to herself and say, "Most people smile when they meet someone but not Heero. No, all I get is a threat. Well… Heero should be happy. He finally fulfilled it. He's killed me…" She walks to the edge of the cliff.  
  
"I have nothing else to live for and this time no one is going to stop me from ending my life. This is the end."  
  
A car door slams in the distance and had she been listening she would have heard the sound of footsteps rushing towards her. She begins to take her final step, when, "Relena!"  
  
She turns to look at Heero.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
"I don't want to hear it! Not even the perfect solider is going to stop me." She turns her back to him and jumps. She is falling. It is the end. Heero runs to the edge of the cliff.  
  
"Relena! Relena…!" His eyes search the water, hoping to see her body. But nothing arises. "Why Relena… I never stopped loving you…"  
  
It is a long time before he can move again. For the first time ever in his life, the perfect solider has tears in his eyes and he can't help it when they begin to fall. He feels lost and broken. He can't believe what has happened.  
  
"I have to tell them. I have to tell them what happened." He then gets up and starts the long walk back to the party.  
  
Flashback  
  
He wakes up to the smell of lavender and can't help but smile to himself. He remembers what they did the night before and a real grin crosses his face. He turns to look at his young lover and watches her sleep, her chest slowly going up and down.  
  
He kisses her forehead. Then he gets out of the bed and dresses. He does this quietly in the hopes of not waking her. When he is finished he goes to her side and leans in. He then whispers, "I love you," into her ear. Then he walks to the veranda and in an instant is gone.  
  
End Flashback  
  
Everyone turns as he walks slowly into the room. Whispers can be heard from all directions. He walks to Milliardo.  
  
"Where is my sister?"  
  
"She's gone."  
  
Noin lets out a muffled gasp as she claps her hands over her mouth.  
  
"What do you mean, she's gone?" Milliardo demands, not wanting to face the truth.  
  
"I'm sorry…" 


	2. full letter

Relena,  
  
I am leaving. You have made me change and I am no longer the person I once was. Where I am going I cannot tell you, and by the time you are read this letter, I have probably already left.  
  
My heart hurts because there is a burden upon it. My hands are stained with blood. So I am taking a journey, a journey that will cleanse my spirit and soul. I beg you to wait for me, for I will one day come back to you. Upon my return, I hope to be able to take your hand in marriage. I love you Relena. And it is a love that will last from now until forever.  
  
Heero 


End file.
